If you're thinking about a present to buy your Thai “teerak”, consider this: What you might think is a lovely gift could actually be her worst nightmare.
So read on….
We all know Thailand is a superstitious place. While most Thais do believe in spirits and vampire-type creatures, others live their lives in fear of some rather questionable superstitions.
Even the most modern-thinking, city-dwelling Thai can live a life controlled by superstition, a life where one wrong move can bring with it a twist of fate that damages one's potential for love, happiness and future prosperity.
There is an abundance of wrongful actions a person can take to bring about bad luck, and many Thais do their best to avoid such things in everyday life.
So what happens when a “silly farang” comes along and totally rains on your karma?
You see, gift giving is a sensitive area, and one where it’s easy to make the wrong purchase. There you were thinking you were being kind and romantic, when in fact you were summoning all kinds of unworldly beings to cast their bad luck over your unsuspecting partner.
Yes, your beautiful present, intended to woo the socks off of your sweetheart, could quickly turn her smile to a frown and prompt her to pour spicy Som Tum over your head.
So, to avoid smelling like a fermented fish for the next week or two, here’s a list of 11 gifts you should never give to your Thai girlfriend:
1. A Watch or Clock: นาฬิกา / naa-lí-gaa
A watch, especially one of the Cartier variety, seems like the ultimate present: a sure way to bring a smile to a woman’s face. But think again, for a watch, in your girlfriend’s mind, may cause your relationship time to come to an end; just like a watch that stops ticking!
2. A Pair of Shoes: รองเท้า / rawng – táao
A woman’s best friend, right? Not when it comes to buying a present for your girlfriend, no. In fact, this applies to a woman buying shoes for a man too. You see, shoes come in pairs but are easily separated. One can easily misplace or lose a shoe and then the other is rendered useless. And for a couple who are dating but not living together, this omen could cause the relationship to break up and the couple to be easily parted, just like a lost shoe. Silly, huh?
3. Sharp Objects ของมีคม: / kăwng mii kom
This is something a lot of Thais I know do believe in. In Thailand, you shouldn’t pass a sharp object to someone, but instead put it down and allow them to pick it up. Certainly don’t go near your Thai girlfriend with a knife in the kitchen late at night, because a ghost may redirect your hand suddenly and plunge it into her! But that’s another belief altogether. Just remember that giving a sharp object as a gift, like a set of knives, scissors or garden secateurs, is considered to bring the receiver danger and bad luck.
4. A Bottle of Perfume: น้ำหอม / náam-hăwm
I have made this mistake, but luckily my wife (girlfriend at the time) isn’t too superstitious. You see, the scent of perfume fades away quickly, and to give perfume to your girlfriend may cause a metaphoric reaction in the same way. Your love will fade in the wind like the fading of the sweet scent of perfume. Ahhh, how wonderfully poetic. I do love Thais for their sense of romance!
5. A Photograph of Yourself: รูปถ่าย / rûup-tàai
While Thais love a selfie, don’t for a moment think giving your Thai girlfriend a picture of yourself is a good idea. Why? Because a photo is a memory, silly! This signifies being apart and having only a photo of you to cry herself to sleep at night. Boo, hoo 🙁 .
6. Tissues or a Handkerchief: ผ้าเช็ดหน้า / pâa-chét-nâa
Never offer your Thai girlfriend a handkerchief, or bring home a set of Hello Kitty tissues as a present. “Why”? I hear you ask. Because a handkerchief is used for wiping tears, indicating that you or someone else will soon make your teerak cry. “Jeb jai” (hurt/broken heart).
7. Black Clothes: เสื้อผ้าสีดำ / sûea-pâa sǐi dam
Black is the colour of sadness, of death, of mourning. Many Thais believe that giving an item of black clothing to someone means that your will attend their funeral – possibly in the near future. Spooky!
8. Presents Made of Glass: เครื่องแก้ว / krûeang gâew
Seems like a nice gift: a crystal decanter, or a set of tumblers perhaps. But no! Because if your Thai girlfriend breaks a piece of glassware that you gave her as a present, your relationship shall also be broken by the… ummm… broken glassware relationship gods?
9. Certain Types of Flowers: ดอกไม้ / doc maǐ
Most flowers will get you the hugs and kisses you desire from Mrs Thai, but whatever you do don’t buy marigolds or carnations, as Thais associate these flowers with funerals. Avoid lotus flowers too, because even though pretty and “homme” (smells nice), these are reserved for worshipping Buddha images and other highly-revered deities.
10. A Comb or Hairbrush หวี / wǐi
The bad luck associated with giving a comb as a gift is one of my favourites – because it’s just as if someone once sat down and decided to identify random objects to see how they could be interpreted as bad love omens. I mean, come on, just because the teeth of a comb part as it runs through your hair, surely this doesn’t mean that giving a comb as a present will cause two people to part ways, does it? I don’t know. I think I’ll nip into Big C and buy a comb for the wife on the way home and put it to the test. Hehe.
11. A Brooch: เข็มกลัด / kĕm-glàt
Last on the list of gifts not to buy your Thai girlfriend is a brooch. A beautiful accessory perhaps, but to buy a gift for your girlfriend that is sharp and to be worn near the heart is to metaphorically stab her in the heart and create emotional pain. The evil brooch brings with it arguments, bitterness and sadness – and without doubt, a tear-jerking end to your relationship.
How to Reverse the Bad Luck in Just One Simple Action!
If you have made one of these cultural gift faux pas and found yourself sleeping on the sofa with a moody Thai girlfriend moping in the next room, don’t despair. Like most aspects of Thai culture, there is a “mai bpen rai” (never mind) get out clause.
To reverse the bad luck and prevent a relationship meltdown, simply tell your girlfriend to pay you for the gift. Yes, it’s that simple By giving you 1, 2, 5 or even just 10 Baht, this turns the gift into a purchase and therefore takes away all the bad luck associated with your “silly farang” gift :).
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Wei says
Few weeks ago I could meet a very sweet, petite deaf lady in Bangkok. I’d like to buy a gift for her, where from she would know, she is very important for me, but I want to avoid to impress with money (e.g. buying an iPhone, or something similar). What do you suggest? (She knows few words only in English)
Apr 06, 2018 at 6:55 pm
TheThailandLife says
Hi, how about T-shirt from your home country? I love Hong Kong, Singapore, UK or where ever? or how about some kind of sweet such as chocolate or cakes that are traditional in your home country.Keep it simple and inexpensive.
Apr 09, 2018 at 8:46 pm
Jethro says
I hate to say this, but I have given my Thai lady every single solitary one of those! Going from a kitchen knife set, to black clothes for when HM King Bhumibol Adulyadej died, a glass snow globe at Crimbo etc.
Mind you, she did ask for a few of them when I asked what she would like as a special prezzy. BUT.. She has never offered to give me any money back!
She is a bit “rural”, but maybe a tiddly bit more “enlightened” than some 🙂
She knows that it’s just superstition, and we always talk about how our friends would receive any particular gift according to their beliefs.
It can be very important to discuss what gifts you give to each person so that the gift has the right result – make them happy, rather than make them feel you haven’t thought about it. But if you give them Thornton’s chocolates – Never any problem 🙂
Jan 22, 2018 at 2:28 am
albert says
Is giving a black hat to a Thai man not good?
Sep 27, 2017 at 4:32 am
TheThailandLife says
Not heard of this one. I am doing some research on it. Will report back if/when I find something out.
Sep 28, 2017 at 11:45 pm
Michael says
Thanks a really interesting take on ancient culture! Albeit I confess to initially feeling worried as I will be going with gifts to my intended.
No combs, knives or sharp edged things! Perfume, a necklace and some lingerie that I think she actually requested. That said I will check first.
From my POV, unlike some, or at least quite a few western males of 70 years or more I have never shown interest in women that could be my daughter ?
And my so, I looked and have now established firm SKYPE relationship with a gorgeous woman of 60 ! So I hope she will not be concerned about superstition ? I will ask before putting 2feet in mouth? Thanks again, Michael….
Feb 18, 2017 at 9:12 pm
TheThailandLife says
I’m sure she’ll be thrilled with the gifts. Most people don’t follow these superstitions now. The post is just a glimpse back to some of the funnier aspects of culture around gift giving. My wife certainly doesn’t object to perfume! All the best.
Feb 19, 2017 at 1:19 am
Hong says
Your blog is very interesting.
I’m Thai who’s been spending time reading about Japanese culture so much I neglected my own. It’s refreshing to read all these trivia from non-native and realize from this post that there are several customs in this country which I haven’t noticed or completely forgot. I truly appreciate your observation and effort to understand Thai people and cultures.
Frankly, as a Thai-Chinese I know only several of these lists that they are superstitiously inappropriate to give as gifts. But yes, I do remember or think some of the lists as a definitely no-no.
2. Shoes: personally, this is the most sensible choice of all. It’s hard to find a pair of perfect female shoes which don’t make her feet hurt! (รองเท้ากัด) We don’t wear knee boots here so if there’s something slightly wrong, we can’t wear socks with those beautiful, expensive ballet flat or heels. : (
Unless, you pay for her at the store. hehe
3. Sharp objects: receiving it is perceived as bad omen. Funnily, at the same time I was told that it would be fine, if you give some money (like one baht) to the giver as if you are buying the thing from him/her for แก้เคล็ด. : )
5. A photograph of yourself: I once received this in a cheap pastel-color plastic frame. Without any superstitious belief, it still was one of the worst gift EVER!
6. Handkerchief: My friend and I gave handkerchief to one another sometimes but it’s out of choice for older people. They receive them nevertheless.
7. Black clothes: definitely is not for a gift, unless it’s cocktail dress. However, older people doesn’t appreciate seeing black clothes in general. They would love to see at least some white spots or anything color. And apart from funeral, I haven’t seen grandma wears black suits even once.
As for 1.Clock, I received a watch (not Cartier) as a gift from my uncle. It was one of the most expensive things I got from him. So yes, I agree that it seems that it is the ultimate gift. : )
It seems we are newer generation.
Best wishes,
Jun 11, 2016 at 4:28 am
TheThailandLife says
Hi Hong, thanks for your insight, it’s good to hear your experiences of these superstitions. It’s fun to look back at some of the old cultural ways, which, as you point out, have disappeared with younger generations.There are actually many more I have heard, so maybe I will do a part 2 post one day!
Jun 12, 2016 at 8:27 am
Rick says
As someone with a Thai wife, I can say this is the most idiotic article I’ve read in a long time. There could be nothing further from the truth. Anybody reading this garbage, please be quick to dismiss it as the author is quite obviously a fool.
Jun 20, 2016 at 5:43 am
TheThailandLife says
I am also married to a Thai; I also have many Thai friends. Whenever I write a post that includes anything related to Thai history or culture, not only do I do my own academic research, but also consult Thai people I know. It’s just a fun post that explores some genuine Thai superstitions from days past, and not meant to be taken seriously. Of course, no one expects modern Thai women to believe in this stuff. That said, to understand Thai culture, you must have an understanding of its animist history that gave birth to much of the folklore and superstitions that still exist today.
Lastly, please refrain from using insulting language or you will be banned as per the website terms.
Jun 20, 2016 at 7:34 pm
James says
Rick is a jerk with his insults. Not to be worthy of a reply. You don’t call someone a fool and idiot over a fun post about culture. Taken so personal. You have problems
Jan 07, 2017 at 12:20 pm
TheThailandLife says
Yes. It was meant to be a fun post that explores superstitions that mainly exist in the past. I’ve had a laugh about these with Thai friends and my wife over the years and thought others might enjoy them too.
Jan 07, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Frank says
I also have been living in Thailand for 9 years and my girlfriend loves when i give her a gift of parfume,shoes and decanters,we love wine.
I think those traditions are maybe back in time, Thailand is changing and running too fast, yes traditions are still radical but also changing. So maybe you should reconsider some of your information.
But good blog any way.
Frank
May 10, 2016 at 1:02 pm
TheThailandLife says
Hey Frank, my wife loves perfume and shoes too. This is just a fun post based on old traditions, not to be taken too seriously. Most of the younger generation don’t have these superstitions, but some older folk still believe.
May 10, 2016 at 11:21 pm
Antony says
I have lived in Thailand for 6yrs, I have been married to a Thai Women for 16yrs and I have never in all that time heard of this. In all that time I think I have bought her all of these things and never once had anything less than a heartfelt thank you.
I am sure this might be the case, if you marry some girl that just came off a rice paddy, but the Thai women I know, would be very happy to have a watch or perfume as a gift.
Jan 15, 2016 at 3:59 pm
TheThailandLife says
Hey Antony, these are old superstitions and just a bit of fun really, as MKP (a Thai woman who commented below) appreciated. Most Thais will know of most of these superstitions no matter what background they are from; the older generation will certainly know. I ran these past a few good Thai friends and they’d heard of most and chuckled about them too. Of course, as you say, most women would be happy to have the gift and wouldn’t think twice. I think it makes for an interesting look back at Thailand in the past.
Jan 15, 2016 at 4:19 pm
Harold Adams says
I know. My Thai girlfriend just asked me to buy her perfume.
Apr 01, 2016 at 7:25 am
MKP says
What a lovely topic!!!!!!
I love it love love it!!!
Welcome to Thailand. (ยินดีต้อนรับเข้าสู่ประเทศไทยนะคะ)
Honestly , If you buy perfume,shoes,watch and they are Hi-end or counter brand, all Thai girls like it believe me because I do too(how can I not?) haha. Every girl likes luxury. But….it depends on the person. No one is perfectly same. There’s difference to everyone.
One more thing, DO NOT buy lotus and marigolds * this information is absolutely true!! Keep it in your mind. Hahaha. The best choice is ROSE ! That’s not only a good choice but also romantic !!!
Thai girls love romantic. Haha.
We are Thai girls. You should understand us guys! 😛
Anyway actually don’t need to be serious much about it. If you think what you buy for her it comes from your heart , all Thai girls will always happy and forgive you although it’s unusual for them. We know that our cultures are different. No one blame you. We are so kind. Don’t be afraid and come over to Thailand right now!!
Best wishes,
21-years-old-Thai woman( but got baby brain) lol
Jan 12, 2016 at 1:32 am
TheThailandLife says
Thank you MKP. Like you say, I think most girls would be happy for the present anyway, but there are some who are quite superstitious and might not be so happy with the gift 🙂
Jan 12, 2016 at 1:38 am
MKP says
Ahhhh.
Just don’t marry them or break up. (I’m kidding hehe)
Anyway, your information is very useful for foreigners.
Jan 12, 2016 at 1:46 am
Kristian says
I wouldn’t get so frightened about this stuff, really :/
I’ve gotten my girlfriend shoes before. It all depends on who you’re dealing with.
Dec 25, 2015 at 8:09 pm
TheThailandLife says
Yes, you’re right. It’s just a bit of fun really and a peak into some old superstitions.
Dec 26, 2015 at 7:15 pm
WAYNE says
I am chuckling. So true. I married a wonderful Peruvian woman, and the second Christmas, I bought her a pasta maker, as she loved the food and the preparation after a trip to Italy.
Boy, was that the wrong gift to buy her, even though it came from the heart. I learned, do not buy a Peruvian lady a gift of what may be considered for the home, which a pasta maker fell under.
She refused to use the pasta maker and no one could use it. After 4 years, I convinced her to donate it to a local charity, but she will never forget.
Ah, the life of love with someone from a different culture. It is worth every minute.
Best wishes
Oct 31, 2015 at 11:50 pm
TheThailandLife says
Haha, great story Wayne. What is the Peruvian superstition regarding gifts bought for the home?
Nov 02, 2015 at 2:30 pm
me says
take what you get buddy
Nov 27, 2015 at 7:58 am