I thought I’d pen something that’s been in my head for a while. It's a bit crazy, or creative – a bit of the two – and was inspired by a song by the late, great Warren Zevon called “Things To Do In Denver Where Your Dead”. I believe there is also a film by the same title.
A while back, on my way to Pai in a minivan, I had the song playing in my earphones and I sat there wondering about all the things I’ll do in Thailand when I die. A little morbid perhaps but a rather cool concept all the same.
Here's what I came up with…
1. Walk the journey from Chiang Mai to Pai, but not following the road, rather cutting across in a straight line through all the jungle terrain wearing only flip flops.
2. Meet up with Doug and listen his life story. Doug was a Canadian expat who penned some compelling posts during his dying days over at Orient Expat.
3. Ride a Yamaha R1 up to Doi Suthep in Chiang Mai and back down again – perhaps more than a few times.
4. Meet up with my Grandad, cross over into Burma, and get him to walk me through his war experiences in the country.
5. Speak with Buddha and get his views on what Buddhism has become in Thailand.
6. Swing with the monkeys on Koh Som.
7. Find out who's behind all the profiles of Thai Visa members.
8. Roam with a pack of Soi dogs in Bangkok and see what they get up to during the night.
9. Track down the taxi driver whose cab I left my phone in and tell him, “It’s cool, I ain’t mad at ya for switching it off and selling it”.
10. Spend a week in Pattaya haunting sex tourists. Hehe.
11. Ask god to play back the audio of what my friends and family really said about my move to Thailand and my Thai wife.
12. Spend a year visiting every beach in Thailand.
What will you do in Thailand when you die?