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Thai Culture: 12 Customs You Might Not Know

Thai culture can be a little strange to outsiders at times, and many Thai customs take some getting used to.

From men not washing women's underwear to it being bad luck to nap at 6pm, I've heard some weird and wonderful things, and not all of them understood by or even heard of by my Thai friends.

Like dialect in Thailand, customs differ from region to region, and on your travels up and down the country you are likely to come across many different customs, beliefs and superstitions.

thai-culture

Thai Culture – 12 Things You May Not Know

1. Opening Gifts

If you visit a Thai person's home and take a present for the host, you may find it is well received but immediately put to one side and left unopened. Don't be offended by this.

It is actually considered rude to open the present there and then in front of the giver.

A Thai person is more likely to wait until you have left to open the gift. This is part of the “grengjai” custom (in consideration of someone else's kindness).

If you really want the person to open the present while you are there, it's fine to ask. But expect some shyness about it.

2. Asking a Ghost's Permission

There are ghosts everywhere in Thailand: some good, some bad, some just mischievous.

One tradition that isn't so widely practiced anymore is to ask permission from the phra phum (spirit ghost of the land) for a visitor to stay in the house.

The visitor is also asked to thank the ghost when they leave

This custom still exists, mainly in rural areas of the country but also among the very superstitious.

Some Thais will perform this ritual before going to sleep in a hotel room, because it isn't their home and they want to ensure the spirit doesn't cause them any trouble.

3. Keeping Your Cool

Raising your voice is unacceptable in Thailand and considered an act of losing control.

Quiet and humble is always the best approach and you certainly won't achieve anything by becoming aggressive or loud.

Jai yen yen (cool heart) instead of Jai rawn (hot heart) is the way of the Thai – at least until someone really boils over that is.

This is noticeable in that people tend not to complain of bad customer service of over pricing, but rather just move on and let it go.

It generally makes for a nicer society, but there is a downside. If people don't complain and voice their opinion, lower standards often prevail.

4. Wearing a Bra

As a foreign woman in Thailand, you will see women – particularly in Bangkok – dressed in short skirts, heels and backless tops, and think, “That's a bit dressy just to go to the mall”!

This may appear to you as a green light to dress liberally, but in actual fact, as a foreign woman, you are expected to exercise modesty – if you want to be perceived in a good light.

It's a real double standard.

The perception of western women is one of a highly sexed bunch who like to let it all hang out; a notion borne out of western movies and different cultural norms, I assume.

Therefore, not wearing a bra underneath your vest top, with your nipples poking through or cleavage hanging low, is likely to cause a fair few judgmental looks.

It may feel hypocritical when you see a Thai woman walk past with shorts on barely shorter than your knickers, but that's just one of those “Thainess” things you're going to have to get past I'm afraid.

5. Pregnancy Superstition

There are quite a few superstitions surrounding childbirth.

Here's a few of the more popular ones:

  • A woman should avoid buying clothes or making preparations for the baby because it may result in miscarriage.
  • A pregnant woman should not sit on the stairs because this may cause a difficult or obstructed birth.
  • For the same reason, a pregnant woman should not bury anything in the soul.
  • It is unlucky for a pregnant woman to attend a funeral, although certain blessings can help a woman avoid this if she really needs to attend.

Post birth, some women go through a ritual called Yu Fai, which translates as “lying by fire/being with the fire”. This occurs for 3-7 days and for 5 hours per session.

The ritual is conducted wearing warm clothes or being wrapped in blankets and lying down on a wooden bed over a warm fire.

The aim of this ritual is to shrink the uterus back to normal size, flatten the stomach, and remove stretch marks and perineal tears, and of course to ward off evil spirits.

+ Your Next Read: What's Behind All 13 Thai Smiles?

6. Always Take Off Your Shoes

Shoes must be taken off upon entering someone’s home. No matter how lowly or grand the home is, take them off.

Shoes walk outside and pick up all manner of dirt, which people don't want in the home – especially considering that Thais often eat sitting on the floor.

Even if you get a “mai pen rai” (no problem/it’s okay), still take them off – the person is just being polite and still expects you to take them off.

7. Don't Touch a Person's Head

Don't touch anyone on the head unless you want to really upset someone.

In contrast to the feet, the head is considered the sacred part of the body and not to be touched without permission. Certainly don't put your feet near someone's head!

You may see an adult give a child a rub on the head, but I would refrain from this unless the child is in your extended family and a bond has already been established.

8. Don't Point!

Pointing is a no-no in Thailand.

Your Thai friends won't take offense if you point when joking around, as they will understand that as a foreigner you may point instinctively.

However, don't point at monks or pictures of any of the Royal Family, and as a general rule don't point at people when making reference to them.

If you need to point someone out, instead of extending your finger, bend your hand downwards with your fingers leaning toward the floor and your palm facing upward.

9. Paying For Meals

In Thailand the inviter pays for the meal. In cases where it is unclear who the inviter was, the superior will usually pay.

Remember, if you are going on a date with a Thai woman, don't think going “Dutch” is an option. It isn't, and you may well be seen as tight (kee-nee-ow) for expecting to split the bill.

In this part of the world, men pay the way on dates, I'm afraid.

10. Ducking Down When Walking Between People

This is a common interaction you'll see on a daily basis in the workplace and at shopping centers.

When a person walks between two others (or a group) the person will duck down slightly to acknowledge the interruption and subtly apologize without speaking.

Sometimes this will be accompanied by a vocal “excuse me” or “sorry”.

The same applies if you walk past a person and block out their vision for a split second.

11. Stepping Over a Threshold

If you visit a building or home with a threshold (the strip or wood or metal that runs across the bottom of an entry door frame) it is polite to step over it and not on it.

This superstition relates to the spirits that inhabit a home. One of the spirits is said to live in the door threshold. If you step on the threshold you may anger the spirit and bring bad luck to the family.

12. Conception

An old belief hailing from central Thailand states that conception occurs when a khwan (soul) flies into the uterus during sexual intercourse.

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There are many regional customs and beliefs that make up Thai culture, some of which have been confined to the history books and others still in practice today.

Some of the more weird and wacky ones are likely to be found in very rural areas where life is still very much rooted in old traditions, and others will be specific certain regions.

As I said at the start, in may be the case that your Thai partner or friend hasn't even heard of all these, but also likely they can tell a few which they know of that I haven't mentioned here.

+ Your Next Read: How to Do the Perfect Thai Wai

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  2. Overlander says

    Stopping a rolling coin with your foot is possibly the most offensive thing that you can ever do in Thailand so foreigners really need to be warned. I once saw a farang guy do this at a BTS ticket machine. Those who saw him were visibly horrified and his Thai female companion simply screamed and ran.
    Reply

    • Just another farang says

      The reason for this is the image of the king on Thai coins. Obviously touching the highest of all Thai with the lowest part of your body is by far the rudest gesture one can make in Thailand.I had the exact same reflex once and I was lucky enough to be amongst Thai and farang who understood I meant no harm.
      Reply

      • TheThailandLife says

        Indeed. I saw a thai stamp on a coin a few weeks back to stop it rolling >> no one battered an eyelid. I think Thais understand this is a genuine reaction and means no harm, even amongst themselves.
        Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Ah, yes, didn't think of that. I really must remember not to stamp on a coin if it starts running away ...but it's such a natural panic reaction. You get all flustered as change starts bouncing everywhere and the instinct is to just stop the jangling and embarrassment straight away :) Keep them coming, i might do a 10 MORE things you didn't know post :)
      Reply

  3. Katy Clift` says

    Generally don't disrespect Thai people - especially the men. They will kill you and most know Thai boxing! I've seen and heard a few horror stories about foreigners getting beaten up quite badly particularly when being drunk and disorderly.
    Reply

    • Martin1 says

      Hey Ajarn!I would put it like this: American culture is so much different than Thai culture!Do you get the point why I said so? If not, sit down and think. :-)P.S.: But I highly appreciate that you do some cultural learning, and show respect! Not everyone is like that.
      Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      It really is a long learning curve, but a fun one in many ways....Being a teacher I am sure you've faced many cultural challenges. At times there are things I just can't get my head around, but then I think why try....just be accepting and understanding :) Glad you are enjoying the blog.
      Reply

  5. ken says

    The foot is considered dirty. Don't ever sit with your feet pointed toward a Buddha figure, don't step over someone or food if they are sitting on the ground and don't ever point at something w/your foot.It's unlucky to get your haircut on Wednesday.Whistling at night might call a ghost to you.
    Reply

  7. Les Hurn says

    Thai's advise to only have haircut during the day. To greet with kissing or hugging at airport is not fully accepted by Thais, indeed any sort of physical touching between men & women in public, really is forbidden.On public transport, Thai women will move seats, rather than accidentally touch a male Farang.
    Reply

  8. SteveCM says

    The foot thing really does need to be emphasised. Feet and anything associated with them are "low" in more ways than one - to the extent that you shouldn't even hang socks on a high-up washing line (because they'd be above someone's head - considered "high"). I also got very promptly corrected one time when I lay down at a picnic with my head resting on my sandals - and that was from some very "with it" Thai.One other suggestion. You'll see many Thai do a slight duck down when they pass in front of others deemed senior who are seated; it's a polite (if token) gesture of respect - to say that they're acknowledging the seniority. Same applies if you're just taller than standing Thai (often the case for westerners).As with most of these customs, foreigners are generally expected to not know about them - but you gain great kudos when you show that you do. It's also the case that many Thai view westerners as having high(er) status anyway - so you'll be paying them a major compliment.
    Reply

      • SteveCM says

        Slight correction - at least based on what I've seen. Just passing in front of someone often prompts the "ducking down" (and it's usually only slight)..... i.e. not just when passing between two people who are talking. Maybe just my old-fashioned Brit/German upbringing, but back home I've always done the "duck" in the latter case.
        Reply

        • Martin1 says

          No, actually you see it quite often when you fly with Thai airways to Thailand: the air hostesses usually duck in front of the passengers when talking to them. And the personnel of the monarchy is serving them always on their knees.And in regards of that Briton/German thing: I actually see it as a polite gesture when Britons knee in front of Germans. ;-P ;-)
          Reply

  10. stuart says

    New to this site. Stamping on a coin? The reason peolple were horrified is that, might I suggest, the King's head is on each coin and the Thai people are very respectful to the Royal Family and hold them in high esteem. Such an act would be deemed to gross, and very insulting and disrespectful to the King and to all Thai people.
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      That's correct Stuart, and I always keep that in my mind when dropping my change after fumbling in my pocket inside the train station. I tried to list some alternative ones here, but indeed coin stamping is a no-go area!
      Reply

  11. Stef261 says

    The King and entire Royal family are revered. Never say anything negative about them because it's illegal and you could go to jail. You may even be arrested if someone overhears you speaking negatively of the king. Also be careful with banknotes. The notes contain the face of the king and therefore must be treated with respect.*Stef261 - I edited your comment but kept the core meaning. This was necessary to stay in line with site policy regarding using language that is appropriate and respectful when addressing a matter concerning the King and Royal family. Thank you.
    Reply

  12. venus says

    Hi it was nice reading your blog the Thai culture as well as comments added here. It amuses me as a neighbor in Asia I found out that they have many similarities with our culture - majority actually, with the exception of ghost thing, #9, #10 and as what I know so the sin sod, so far. Yeah and I started remembering it all, as one with the culture you may not be aware about the whole list because you're just doing it and remembering it from your descendants.
    Reply

  13. Sarah D says

    I have a Thai exchange student living with me. Any light you can shed on something having to do with them being sick and visited by a ghost or something along those lines?? She was home this morning and going into school late, and called me saying she was on her way to school (earlier than I expected) she was crying and said something about a ghost! I am so baffled!!! Let me know! Thanks!
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Hi Sarah,Thais are Buddhists but the culture is rooted in Brahmanism and animism. Many Thais believe in spirits, and if you visit Thailand you will see a spirit house outside most homes (Thais wai these to appease the spirit of the house as they walk past). Many Thais associate nightmares and sleep paralysis episodes with visits from spirits, in particular one they call Pee Am, a ghost that attempts to steal one's good karma in order to pass over to paradise.Don't worry too much, just sit down and be sympathetic. If she believes there to be a spirit in the house this can be resolved through a simple appeasement ritual.Let me know how you get on.
      Reply

      • Martin1 says

        Haha, that post is five years old but always a classic! :-)To exaggerate, I would say that because of watching Thai drama too much, Thai people fear "ghosts". My (Thai) wife does too. She cannot sleep alone in a hotel abroad because immediately ghosts will come. Haha. Some Thai people can't even sleep without light turned on.And Thai people watch television so much. There is that joke that there is a switch on the TV, which is only used _one_ time: To turn the TV on. Haha.TTL, you did the traditional Thai wedding as me. At one part the monks talk to the ancestors that there will be some new person coming to the family. That is really their believe.
        Reply

    • Martin1 says

      Yeah, I second that! :-)))The only way to show my appreciation is to write some comments with, what I think is, helpful advice, as I never would waste my time on a crappy blog.TTL is clearly in the top!
      Reply

  15. Max Beard says

    Great topics. Well covered. I have lived in Rural Thailand now for over 2 years and still getting used to their customs. One to add regarding ghosts. In a village where a recent death has occurred, you will often see most or all houses display a red shirt at the entrance to their property. This is to keep the ghost of the dead person from entering your house.One other thing that could be mentioned is that it is taboo for a lady to touch a monk and vice versa.
    Reply

  16. Max Beard says

    Just an update on my previous post about the Red Shirts.Having talked at length to my wife on this subject I know understand it a little better.If a male dies, not through illness, suicide or accident, but just goes to bed and dies in his sleep then here lies the problem. The 'Red Shirt' is to ward off the FEMALE ghost which they believe will come and take the MEN from the household. If there is no men living in the house then no red shirt is displayed on the entrance to the property. Bizzare? Yes, but it is what they believe. Travelled around a bit today and seen the 'red shirt' displayed in a number of villages.
    Reply

  18. Margarita Lerma says

    This is very interesting stuff right here. I greatly enjoyed it, the various Asian cultures fascinate me, the Korean one to be more precise, but im slowly starting to catch interests in other ones as well. I ran into this website and find it absolutely informative and I greatly enjoyed learning about different things in this Country! Great Job! :)
    Reply

  19. Anastasia says

    Women have to wear a bra? I'm not really sold on that idea. While on vacation, in August heat? I also don't see why I'm to be held responsible for others' notions of Western women, and how wearing or not wearing a bra would change that.And now a hypocritical seque - contact between men and women is inappropriate in public? Can you please elaborate on that? I will be going to Thailand with my boyfriend, and want to be aware so I can respect the local customs are. (To a degree though.... Curtailing PDA out of respect I understand, covering up In places of worship, sure, wearing a bra when it's going to make me hot and uncomfortable, no.)
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Hi Anastasia, don't worry too much about the bra thing. I should have made the point clearer in that it's more about not having nipples poking through a vest top while on the train, or having your cleavage swinging too low for all to gorp at. On the islands this is far less of an issue because it's more touristy with a beach-dress atmosphere. Thais generally women think western women aren't "shy" when it comes to dressing and public displays of affection, speaking about sex etc. It's not a finger pointing "we are better than them" thing - just something borne out of cultural differences and seeing western movies. In reality, the majority of Thais wouldn't care if a foreigner made a minor cultural faux pas because they realise you are on holiday having fun. Moreover, they want you to enjoy their country. You'll love it here :)
      Reply

  20. Max Beard says

    Hi Anastasia.Like as has been said before the wearing of a bra or not is not a big problem. Yes, Thais are far more conservative than we westerners and in the touristy areas they accept we have a different approach to life. Just be a little sensitive to thier cultural beliefs and if you don't want to wear a bra then don't wear a flimsy see through top.Now as regards showing affection to your patner/spouse the Thais just don't do this. You will rarely see a Thai couple holding hands let alone hugging and kissing. This is not just adult to adult but I have noticed a lack of affection shown to children over the age of about 7 from their parents or family members. This lack of showing affection can be seen as soon as you fly into Bangkok. Thai people do not greet family members or friends they have not seen for some time with a hug anda kiss on the cheek as we westerners tend to do. There is no physical contact, just a smile and a wai. Now again in the tourist areas and Islands, holding hands/hugging and quick kisses in public are regarded as the westerners normal way of doing things and accepted. Not so much in the more rural parts of Thailand but they are getting used to seeing it slowly with more westerners living in their midst.Maybe this way of theirs not showing affection in public stems to when the family chose your spouse for you. Nothing to do about love. Then when you are married you lived in the same house as your parents and siblings and all of you go to sleep together on the floor in the same room. Can't really get romantic like this. This still happens in some more rural villages but much less so.Thailand is a lovely country. I am married to a Thai National and have lived in a small village in Isaan for three years. I still learn all the time about their customs and cultures. Some extraodinary, unbelievable, quaint and some riduculous. But as is often heard said here by westerners TOT (This Is Thailand)This article and it's posts are very informative and if you can remember most of what has been written I am sure your boyfriendand yourself will have an even better time here on holiday.Just remember Thailand is still light years behind most Western countries.Other things I suggest you be aware off is the corrupt police here. Not the odd policeman but the majority. Just be careful definetely no drugs of any kind, very severe penalties if caught.Next advice. Thailand is a cheap place to buy things but there is a reason for this. Generally the quality is poor especially in regards to clothes and shoes. You can buy a copy opf just about anything here in Thailand, but!!!!!!!
    Reply

  21. Boom says

    As a New Zealander having lived in Thailand for the past few years, I have noticed a few similarities in culture. I should know quite a bit about the Thai culture having a mother who is Thai. As a half-cast then, most of the '10 Cultural and Customs' made above are actual not completely, well, foreign. In New Zealand people too take off their shoes and duck if it is necessary to pass between elders having a conversation. Additionally, most females do not wear short skirts, or tank tops or anything like that at all, sure, Thai's may look at foreign ladies dressed like that as a bit 'trashy'; however, there is good reason for the foreign lady to do that. For the Thai lady to wear it, however, is very 'loso' and gives the impression of putting oneself into business (hooker). Since Thai ladies are accustomed to the hot weather, there is no reason apart from wanting glaring looks from men, to dressed like a that. With regards to paying for meals, in Thailand, people will usually pay for themselves. In NZ, the elder person always pays for the meals. I sometimes wonder what is Thai culture, since, it often is quite literally all 'fake' here, although, there are many Thai people who have a good 'cultured' background.
    Reply

    • Daniel says

      A few years old, but I thought I'd join in for any future readers. I'm a New Zealander but I don't agree with your generalisations. We never took our shoes off in the house. I would do so now, but I would say it's extremely unusual in New Zealand. Ducking when walking between elders? We don't really even have the concept of elders. We have children and adults, beyond that there's little respect given or taken based on age. In NZ, the elder person always pays for meals? Never experienced that either.
      Reply

  22. Rick says

    Things are changing a lot in Thailand in last 10 from food to culture you will see Thais holding hands now but still never kiss If your ever on sleeper train a lady should never sleep on top bunk above a man
    Reply

    • Martin1 says

      Yeah, that is true! Nowadays you even see femboys walking hand in hand in public with their girlfriends.Kissing I have seen, but only very subtle at places like airports, train stations...And not so subtle when at home or hotel after closing the door. ;-) Haha! :-D
      Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      I didn't know that one about the sleeper train, Rick. One thing I heard recently is that some Thai men won't allow their wife's underwear to be washed with their clothes - it must be washed separately.
      Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      You are absolutely right, Keith! I just checked up on this and here's what I found out:Historically, people believed that Wednesday was a day of growth and development. It was also considered an auspicious day when members of the Royal Family and noblemen preferred to get their hair cut. It was therefore prohibited to commoners to do that on the same day. Since then having your hair cut on a Wednesday was considered inappropriate, as if one is trying to compare one’s own prestige to that of the Royal Family’s.
      Reply

  25. Michael says

    Excellent information, thank you! We will be retiring to LOS in the next few months and living some months in Chiang Rai and then other months at the beach or on the islands. So many cultural behaviors to be aware of. I am grateful for all this great information!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the good work and keep living the dream.......
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Thanks Michael. I wish you all the best with your retirement. I've only been to Chiang Rai once but found it to be a charming place with lots of wonderful countryside. It's not far from Chiang Mai and Pai either, two places I love.
      Reply

  26. indokiina says

    Sorry, didn't read all comments, but what comes to mind:• handle cash carefully, notes wrinkle-free, offer king's head upwards toward receiver• never throw anything, even a ball or keys..•never drop anything, not money, not keys, nothing, always offer things with open palms upwards for others to pick from there..• don't try to force eye-contact, while Thais will make eye-contact, you are not to force eye-contact, especially toward same sex.. it is nothing to do with anything sexual, it is merely rude.• Thai's will not appreciate your try of speaking Thai to monks, Thais speak a different language to monks and to royalty, rather let someone interpret if you are to be respectful of their beliefs.• Many Thais are unlikely to think in terms of disappointment with expectations as they culturally, if not religiously, think things as karma/kamma and as they are.. So they might not be cursing the missed train..•as unlikely as it is in a western country for someone unknown to smile, as likely it is in Thailand for someone to actually do so. If a tuk-tuk driver from Isaan is bullying you for a ride in BKK, he will not stop with words or anger, but if you smile at him, he will immediately realize that you won't be going for his ride and smile back at you.•treat pictures of anyone as you would treat someone's head..• Try not to insist on things expected in your culture. 99% of the case the Thai person has not visited your country of origin or thought it necessary to understand it's customs. It is his/her country more than yours.• don't be the tourist to load his water-gun with ice or piss during songkran. If you are not a clueless first timer to the festival you probably want to be visiting Cambodia at that week.•Having visited every island, Hua Hin and Pattaya, you have not yet managed to visit Thailand at all.• Thais are more likely to report your use of drugs than tolerate it. Prison is not a nice place there, and the guards are more likely to see your inprisonment as karma than with understanding.• If you don't know what is wrong, smile, bow and look clueless. This will shut up anyone yelling at you.• You are most likely pronouncing every word of Thai in one of the other 4 possible wrong tones. It is as inconceivable for a Thai to try to guess the word you meant from the words /nāː/nàː/nâː/náː/nǎː/ in Thai as to guess the English word "presidency" if someone said "lollipop".
    Reply

    • Linzi says

      Hi, I was recently told it’s bad to sleep between 4-6pm and that’s it’s called ghost hanging up the nappy or ghost nap and Thai people believe it sucks the life from you during these hours. I’m intrigued to know if this is common?
      Reply

    • Max Beard says

      While some of the above comments are valid others are well over the top and make one tend think one is not dealing with another form of human life.I have lived in the real Thailand, not the tourist spots, for over 6 years now and married to a Thai lady, so have a good idea what it is all about.There are some things you should NOT do and others that it is preferred you don't do. There is a difference. Thai's in general I believe are becoming more tolerant and understanding of the foreigner's ways. That is not to say you should force your ways or views on them.Your first comment is well over the top regarding the handling of money, yes you should never ever put your foot on the King's head but other than that money is handled the same as it is in other countries.The next item again is over the top. Noone should throw something at anyone unless it is for them to catch.Regarding eye contact - never heard of or seen this as being something to offend the Thais, though could be relevant to the Monarchy and those who think they are so much better than others.Regarding your comment on drugs, and I don't and have never used, there are more Thais using drugs than in many other countries and unless you are trying to sell or upset them because of your actions while being high, you will be left alone.Regarding speaking to monks this is true to a certain extent but it is the older generation that knows how to converse in the different way. Monks are not great conversationalist as a rule so is unlikely to wish to have a long conversation with you. The younger Thais can talk to them as they would to family but always with great respect. A lot of the more elderly/senior monks can speak limited English. My advice is not to try to speak to a monk unless they start up the conversation. MY wife's brother is a monk so I do know a little about this.Regarding your comment on pictures, this is only the case if the picture is of a member of the Royal family or a monk.Yes it is wrong to expect the Thais to do things as you are used to/expect in your country and one has to be extremely tolerant and learn to adjust and this is really not that easy. The last part of this comment should have been 'it is the Thais country NOT yours. Basically saying if you don't like it then go back to where you come from or to another country where the ways of doing certain things are similar to what you are used to.
      Reply

      • Chester UK says

        From Rick I believe May 1st.
        Rick: If your ever on sleeper train a lady should never sleep on top bunk above a man
        The bottom bunk is more expensive so whoever paid for it isn't in my view going to be wanting to swap for the cheaper more narrow top bunk and this no matter what the sex or sexual orientation of either party.I mean who sits on the top and who sits on the bottom of a double decker airbus a380? I don't know - check your boarding pass!I would agree though that to offer a lady tossing and turning uncomfortably on the top bunk of a train one's more expensive bottom bunk is polite but is it uniquely Thai or more universally polite or even just plain gentlemanly English.In my view, no matter how kind and polite, whether a lady chooses to accept or decline any such invitation, and why, I don't think any man worldwide will ever know.
        Reply

  28. Andrew Lim says

    Just like some Asian countries, the one who invite usually pays for their meal or date. I actually like that kind of culture especially if you want to date a girl. You don't want to go dutch because it's very impolite, as a man you want to impress the girl and since you want to date her you should know that you will be the one to shoulder for the expenses. I just love Thai culture because its conservative.
    Reply

    • A says

      Look up Pak Nam incident and the Battle of Trat, Two times at Ayutthaya and yes the "no contest" reality of Japanese invasion and alliance with Japan who lost the War and by default joined them.It is history, or is it His Story. Look to great historians Thai Nationality like C. Kasetsiri, Thongchai and others for more knowledge.Best
      Reply

    • Thailand Terry says

      You did not include the occupation of Thailand by the Japan's military during WWII. In fact, many Thais cooperated or collaborated with the Japanese occupying forces.Maybe it is you that needs to check your history...
      Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Thai society is woven together by a social hierarchy dictated by wealth, family name, level of education and authority/ability to influence. The caste system you refer to used to be categorized as the monarchy at the top, then high-ranking monks, then government officials and workers, then normal working people and then servants. In a way it is still the same set-up, but economics and opportunity has changed this landscape somewhat and it isn't so simple anymore -- though the fundamentals are the same.
      Reply

  31. Ezel says

    Hi. I already asked about this yesterday but it seems like no one noticed it or nobody wants to reply dew to some moderation/sensitivity issue. Is it really true that a certain school in Thailand offers prostitution as a degree? I really need to know and your confirmation will be a great help. Thanks. If you don't want to write your reply in the comment due to the topic's sensitivity, please send it to me via email. Thank you
    Reply

    • Martin1 says

      Ezel, are you sure that you are free of stereotypes and superstition?Like TTL wrote before, prostitution is indeed illegal in Thailand. But you are sure that in your country there is no prostitution at all?If in Thailand people (yes, mal and female) do sell themselves in order to help the family it is somewhat tolerated. (They might have to prove their attitude to police with some tea money, though.) That is "thainess"! :-)))But point blank: prostitution is illegal in Thailand and there no (!) school/class where you could learn it! Sorry for that!
      Reply

  32. jesus says

    Yub I know that I live here but I'm not thai I will move USA soon beacuse many of thai aren't good and kindness like when I told them I am overseachinese and I have blood of king of chineses they rail me they saw me mad what? it's truth many of them so stupid they like to saw foreigner(white skin) like god they secretly photographed foreigner(white skin) they saw americanafro african like a monster like theif many of them are bad They saw money is a god You have to prepare yourself to come here
    Reply

    • rina says

      so your chinese. thats probably because mainland chinese ppl dont really act right when theyre in TH for vacation. Other then that the most chinese ppl outside of china (just talking about asia) life in thailand and about 50% of the Thai volk has chinese roots/ancestry (im half thai half korean and i do know that even a few of the first Kings in thailand were half chinese half thai) also many have chinese or mixed thai-chinese relatives cousins etc. also actually the most southeast/east asians ingeneral like white skin ingeneral mostly (includes not only western ppl, theres naturally light skinned thais actually a lot ,not for the most part but still many ,anyhow) ,so it doesnt matter what your ethnicity is if your light skinned ,thai ppl dont like to into the sun either though many just have to thats the only reason why the main part is dark skinned anyways. Koreans ,japanese originally were ALL dark skinned ppl, and those who work outside in the sun still ,are still dark ...(or just look at north koreans ,the most part looks mainly like we really looked like, im half but im still gonna say we since i live and know about southeast and east asia in certain things and history).. Anyhow aslong as you are light skinned ppl will always like and look at you more thats the case for almost every country in southeast & east asia , light skin is popular no matter where you come from thats just how it is.
      Reply

  33. Martin1 says

    To tip #10:Even in my country in Europe it is considered to be quite rude to walk between to people who are talking to each other! The polite way is to walk around them. And if they are polite, too, they would move to give more room.
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      You would have to check at the district office you think he was married at. What relationship do you have with this person? You would need to be a relative and prove that I would imagine. If you are the partner of this person and he has proposed marriage to you and you suspect him to be married already then you may do well to pop into a local police station and ask if they can make the enquiry for you.
      Reply

  35. Nakamoto says

    Bottom line to me: Respect the land and Respect the culture. Don't mean to be judgmental but the Chinese people do not respect other countries culture when visiting. Perhaps looking at yourself first and figure out why you were treated a certain way would be a start. I haven't been to Thailand yet but I plan to "learn" about their culture first before offending the Thai people out anyone else for that matter. Keep this mind: If you don't even take the time to learn about anyone's culture and where they live then they probably don't want you back anyways so leave and don't go back unless you educate yourself and show some respect for the people that live there and respect their home.
    Reply

  36. Dr,C says

    I rent a house with a side yard, not fenced, I park my pickup close to the house why do thai's think it is an open yard for them to park on my property...I also have a small front yard, what and why do they presume they can park there also?It seems to me that thais do not necessarily respect other people's privacy and property and do whatever they want at any time they please.
    Reply

    • Mik lloyd says

      Their culture is the same in one respect..... all cultures try to portray good amidst the reality of bad.. clean green New Zealand, egalitarian, hah! So in Thailand ywhat you see is NOT what to get. Thais are unable to speak their mind , in fact not allowed. So some Finally explode like a pressure cooker. Their opinions, where available are often unreliable. Better to lie and save face.
      Reply

    • Atlee says

      Your father-in-law is right. Definitely not only a part but a significant part of the culture though many frown their noses at it. You will find girl bars, agogos and brothels in most parts of Thailand and a large majority of boys are said to lose their virginity to a prostitute. This has been going on for hundreds of years, long before the Vietnam war caught the eye of foreign sex-tourists from all over the world.
      Reply

      • I am Thai says

        You say like you know as well about my country. Sorry for your bad experience may you get here...guess you have travel in the wrong places and never get to know or meet good people here, but why judge and say bad of my country?
        Reply

      • TheThailandLife says

        Where do you find go-go bars anywhere outside of the tourist area? I've been all over Thailand and lived in many different parts of Thailand and never come across a go-go bar other than where there has been a tourist district / sizeable expat community. the same goes for bar-girl bars. There are karaoke bars, some of which have women that will pay to play at the end of an evening. There are brothels in some areas, but these tend to be discreet and no more common than in any Western country.This thing about Thai males losing their virginity to prostitutes and being a significant part of culture is way overstated. At one time it may have been more commonplace but it certainly isn't that way now.
        Reply

        • Dao says

          Totally agreed! I was born and lived in Thailand half of my life. Sex tourism is not our CULTURE! It only happened when the poor has no other way to feed their families and sex tourism is a fast - shortcut way for them to make some bucks.
          Reply

  40. Lavern says

    I have a question. Is it Thai tradition for older children to pay for things for their parents, like buying them a refrigerator or paying to repair their house and other things of that type. i was told this is Thai tradition for children to repay parents for bringing them into the world and caring for them as children.
    Reply

    • SimonR says

      My girlfriend was sent to live with her maternal grandmother when she was three, and her younger sister was only one year's old. Their father had abandoned them, and their mother had found a new husband. When she reached twelve her grandmother could not afford to pay for her to stay on at school, because the mother made no financial contribution to the upkeep of her children. My girlfriend was found a job washing plates at a local eatery, and what little money she earned the grandmother made no claim on. She saved her money and bought her mum a refrigerator. I found this whole story incredible, and I was astonished that the fact my girlfriend still loved her mum so much, despite being farmed out and financially abandoned, that she saved up to buy her a "luxury" item.
      Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      It is very common for children of working age and older to take care of their parents by buying them things for the home, making repairs for the home, and also paying monthly bills for various things. But this generally occurs in the working classes where the parents do not have much of an income, particularly when retired and they have no income at all. Indeed, in poor families, for the children's entire lives they will generally support their parents financially. In many cases this is a cultural expectation that falls upon them, and not necessarily something that they do of their own free will.That being said, culturally, there is a huge emphasis on taking care of one's parents into old age to repay them for their love and effort in raising you. In short, you are indebted to your parents for your life. so even children from middle-class and wealthy families will still put huge emphasis in their life on taking care of their parents. generally, parents do not go into homes when they are old and frail, but rather the children take care of them at home. though in wealthier families they can afford carers and maids, so the burden is lightened.
      Reply

    • Paul says

      Probably the concept that ‘Thai’ means free and that they have never been conquered, which is a remarkable bout of revisionist SE Aisian history, to say the least. If you know a Thai with a good sense of humor, ask him if the Japanese army was here on a tourist visa...
      Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      I would say that that is specific person trait, and not a cultural thing. In fact, in my experience, you should always ask in Thailand before using something of someone else's, regardless of how close you are.
      Reply

  43. Sue Bennett says

    Situation: A New Zealand family are hosting an international student from Thailand. They ask him if he is happy with his accommodation. He says, "Yes thank you". However, later his agent phones to complain on behalf of the student, saying that he is cold in his bedroom and he wants more spicy food.What is the cross-cultural problem that may occur?
    Reply

  44. Sharyn says

    I had an experience recently where l visited a friend, he had his business partner & the business partners Thai wife living with him.. When l went to my room to go to bed the Thai lady laid her blanket beside my bed & slept on the floor beside my bed all night.. Is this common & what is the reason ?
    Reply

    • Linzi says

      Hi, I was recently told it’s bad to sleep between 4-6pm and that’s it’s called ghost hanging up the nappy or ghost nap and Thai people believe it sucks the life from you during these hours. I’m intrigued to know if this is common?
      Reply

      • TheThailandLife says

        Yes it's true. I've been told a number of times not to nap around 6pm. It's something to do with ghosts awakening as it gets closer to the evening. You being in a nap-state (in between being awake and asleep) means the ghost is able to take over your body. For weaker people this might result in one's soul being taken. Thanks for reminding me of this one.
        Reply

  45. Carrie says

    We are in the US and have friends (a couple) from Thailand whom we invite to come over to eat or just to talk. They stay FOREVER. Is it considered rude for them to come for only an hour or two and then leave? We know when we invite them that we need to expect a 5 or 6 hour visit because, even if we have run out of things to stay, they still hang around! They are extremely nice and pleasant, and we enjoy their company, but they stay way too long. One time we tried an invitation with designated hours on it, but it made no difference.
    Reply

    • Ann says

      Actually,Thai people are not be at friend’s house too long (1-2 hours is enough). It’s because we have to considerate the friend. On the other hands, Thai people will feel uncomfortable when someone stays at our home for long time (except the relatives). We have not much free time so we have to spend free time for family.
      Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      This is a tad strange to me. In Thai culture there is something called 'Greng Jai' This is a feeling of not wanting to put another person out or hurt another person's feelings. It's a feeling of consideration for others. So if you go to someone's house you would be mindful of not staying too long and probably consider leaving, or at least voicing your intent, after a couple of hours. That said, people are individuals and behaviours vary. Perhaps this is working in reverse. Perhaps they feel too shy to want to leave in case you get offended. If you only want them to stay a couple of hours, I'd just make an arrangement to go out at a specific time.
      Reply

  47. liyana says

    i just came back from Bangkok with my daughter 5yo and husband. i seen MANY Thai adults there like to touch my daughter’s head. when we were in the immigration, at the airport, at the market, many times i saw that happened. wondering why
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Probably because she is cute. When my daughter was a toddler, Thai women in particularly would touch her head, squeeze her arm or hand or do some other quick display of affection towards her. Where I'm from (UK), you'd risk being verbally abused or attacked for touching another person's child that you don't know, but in Thailand children are very much celebrated and doted on and it is acceptable to express the fact that you think a child is cute, or acting cutely.
      Reply

  49. John says

    I always try to respect the customs of a country I'm visiting but the Thais need to remember that if they marry a foreigner the relationship can't be all one sided, with the foreigner bending over backwards and jumping through hoops. For example, if a foreigner is literally invited out for a meal by the parents of his Thai wife or girlfriend then the foreigner should not then be given the bill at the end of the meal and expected to pay. That is just plain rude and taking the p and makes the Thais look extremely low in my opinion. No civilised or decent person invites someone out for dinner and then gives them the bill.
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      The custom is that the person who invites pays the bill, but in the modern day the bill is usually split where friends are concerned, or you pay for what you ate. It's the same in the UK: When I invite a friend out to eat I will offer to pay, as I have invited him/her. Sometimes the friend insists on paying, depending on who paid on previous occasions, and sometimes we split the bill - nothing is set in stone. I've never been invited out by a Thai for dinner and been asked to pay for the meal. My in-laws have never said "let's go and eat at that restaurant" and expected me to pay. If I offer to take people out to eat I generally intend on paying, the same way if I invite someone over to dinner at my house I will provide the food free of charge. If you find yourself in a situation where every time someone is hungry you are expected to pay for their food, it's probably best to find different company.
      Reply

      • John says

        Seems you met the perfect lady. I note that you decided not to publish my last comment about my girlfriend's family also ripping me off at Khon Kaen Zoo after inviting me out for the day, even though my post was perfectly reasonable and polite. It's your website but if you don't allow balanced opinion it's not really worth following. Best Wishes and goodbye, and please remember that your Thai partner will leave you in a heartbeat if you stop funding her, you are no different to any other farang.
        Reply

        • TheThailandLife says

          I did publish that comment. I didn't publish the one where you said all Thai women are the same and only see foreign men as a meal ticket, etc. That's a huge slur of a generalization on an entire nation of women, which include my wife, daughter, and best friend - all Thai females.I'm sorry if you have been burnt and feel bitter; I have met others over the years with a similar experience - some have gone on to find a genuine relationship. Of course, getting involved with a women with zero financial independence, and whose family has zero financial independence, is most likely going to result in you, the financially independent one, supporting her and, potentially, her dependents. So it's wise to choose a partner carefully, as it is in any country. God knows I've had my fair share of relationships that have left me feeling like "all woman are x,y,x". But we live and learn and grow.You are misjudging my partner.My Thai partner worked all the way up until my daughter was born, at which point she became a full time mum but continued to study and take courses. She is not from a wealthy background but has always worked since graduating. When we met I had no money to spare and in no way could afford to "fund her". I was traveling around without really knowing what my future would be. She has stood by me through thick and thin. I'm not rich, neither is she. I'm not perfect, neither is she; but we do our best to be good people, good parents, good partners.What's funny is that the way you talk about Thai women is almost exactly the same way I hear many men talk of the "women back home", particularly those from the US. They find a great Thai woman and can't believe their luck because they've had such bad luck with materialistic, demanding women back home.
          Reply

      • John says

        Exactly! I did give them another chance though just in case I misunderstood the first time at the restaurant. One morning in the village I was enjoying my coffee on the verandah with some really cute cats, dogs and ducks when my girlfriend appeared and asked if I'd like to visit Khon Kaen zoo with her family, so I said yes please that would be lovely. Off we all went in the pick-up and as we neared the gates I pretended to be asleep cos I suspected what would happen. There was some very animated conversation between my girlfriend and her family and sure enough they tried to wake me up in order to pay for all of them to get in! Oh dear, that was their last chance. I did pay just so that I didn't ruin the day and cause a confrontation but my mind was then made up to never marry that girl. I spent 30 years buying and selling used cars in London so they tried to con the wrong person!
        Reply

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